Why Some People Quit Guitar (and How to Avoid Giving Up)

September 6, 2023

I connected with a friend recently who shared with me that his son, though an avid saxophone player for many years, had recently lost interest in the instrument. There was not a real explanation, except that he had sort of fallen out of love with the saxophone.

 

Now as we talked about in Guitar Serious Fun Episodes 17 and 18, “Guitar through the Seasons (Parts 1 and 2),” there are definitely different times in our lives where we play more or less music on our instruments, but what about stopping completely and indefinitely?

 

We’ve all met people who have quit their instruments.  And usually, they regret it.

 

Some people start out with great intentions, but along the musical road, some decide to stop, for one reason or another. 

 

If you’re playing the guitar and you don’t want to fall out of love with it, please consider these eight “catalysts” I have for you today. 

 

1. Be realistic with how much you expect of yourself.

 

As musicians, we can have lofty dreams of performing on grand stages, recording albums that have national distribution, and gaining a viral following on social media. 

 

But the Lord may not have this plan for us.  To that end, I think it’s good to have reasonable expectations, so that we can meet those and exceed them.

 

When it comes to the actual discipline of regular practice, if we ask too much of ourselves, it can be hard to sustain.

 

Practicing 2 hours a day may work for someone for a few days, but once they miss a few days of this 2-hour regimen, regret and overwhelm can set in.  What about 15 to 30 minutes a day? 

 

That’s a much more sustainable endeavor, especially for a hobbyist or someone who plays the guitar on the more recreational side.

I’ll add the pro tip that practicing at the same time, for the same amount of time, in the same place each day leads to even better consistency…even for people who just play the guitar for fun.

 

2. Make sure you are playing some music that feeds your soul.

 

Not all the music we will play will be in the center or our passion or taste, but some of it should be.

 

Some of the things we play will be technique-building, and they may sound good, or they may sound monotonous.

 

Some songs are more life-giving than others, and some songs are too difficult to play in some early seasons of guitar playing.

However, easier versions of guitar songs exist, and when we get a taste of what’s possible as we play an actual song, we can feel momentum. 

 

I had a young guitar student for several years who was just starting out, but who had a deep appreciation for James Taylor, whom she had seen in concert.  So, I found a way to simplify some of his songs so she could play them.

 

Stephen Humphries, a national hammered dulcimer champion and follow of Christ with whom I’ve studied, offered this pearl of wisdom. 

 

He said, “Technique is a means to an end. Make sure the music you want to play is that end.”

 

Mic drop.

 

If all we’re doing is sharpening our musical techniques and rarely actually playing real music, it can be very easy to lose sight of our goals.

That’s why, in the five “joining bonuses” when my members join GuitarSuccess4U, they get instant access to a legitimate song I wrote about the joy of playing music on the guitar in a community. 

 

And they can learn to play it at one of 14 different levels of play, so even guitarists who have never played a note can be playing along with me right away.

 

3. Set some realistic goals and write them down.

 

Speaking of goals, as we talked about in Episode 69 – “How to Read it on the Run with Guitar and More” with guest Dawn Jones, if we don’t write down what our goals are, we will get much less traction, and then we will feel much less progress.

 

In that episode, Dawn said that “Research has shown that if you write something on your calendar, you have a 60% chance of completing it, compared to if you don’t write it down.”

 

So, write down some realistic goals.  And as we talked about with Dawn, put them somewhere visible so you can “read them on the run.”

 

4. Seek out some quick wins.

 

Believe it or not, learning to play a chord, or strum a strumming pattern, can be a great win that can fuel your desire to keep playing.

 

But make it a quick win.  Not a huge endeavor.  If you’re looking for some ideas for wins, I encourage you to check out Guitar Serious Fun Episode 55 - “Bookending Your Guitar Practice with Wins.”  Many of these are ones our member of GuitarSuccess4U have come up with on their own.

 

5. Go see a guitar player you admire in concert.

 

Remember, this is not the same thing as watching someone on YouTube, which can be good.  But there’s something about the excitement in a live venue when a performer interacts with their audience and plays well.

I will never forget seeing the late Michael Hedges in concert in 1995.  It was inspiring to my guitar journey on multiple levels, because his skill set was unparalleled.  Also, the journey he took us on with his multi-faceted concert, all within the limitations of just a couple guitars, a flute, and a piccolo, was captivating.

 

I kept a journal for many years of concerts I got to experience, and I jotted down particular elements of those shows that impacted me as a music listener, and also as a musician.  The Michael Hedges concert was the inspiration for that journal, and that memory still keeps me excited about the guitar.

 

6. Have some sort of musical outlet for your playing.

 

I want to credit one of our guest experts in GuitarSuccess4U for this suggestion.  His name is Brian Reding, and he not only produced my best album to date, he graciously filmed a video interview with me about many different aspects of musicianship, especially centered around listening well.

 

The members of GuitarSuccess4U have enjoyed this interview immensely.

 

Brian has been a music teacher, a funk band leader, and also a worship leader.  In his words, a guitarist needs to have an outlet for their musical expression.

 

When we play our guitar in a collaborative, live setting, it validates our efforts.  Think about this.  If we keep our guitar in the practice space, no one but us gets to enjoy what we’re working on.

 

But if we team up with a worship team, a cover band, or even jam in a song circle of hobbyists, we get to share what we’re working on, and play in collaboration with others.

 

These collaborations give us the opportunity to practice and prepare music, and to self-observe when we’re “in the moment.”  I guarantee you that playing with others helps us raise our game as musicians.

 

If we can break past the intimidation factor and allow ourselves to be humbled a bit by the process, we will emerge as better players in many ways.  Our tempos, our musicianship, our ability to listen, these will all be enhanced.

 

Also, if we know the band is expecting us to come prepared, that will provide accountability, leading to more diligent practice, more wins, and more progress.

 

7. Connect with a tribe of guitar players.

 

If you’ve experienced these episodes of Guitar Serious Fun for any length of time, you probably know where I’m going with this.

 

I am honored to lead an online community of Christian guitarists called GuitarSuccess4U.

 

It’s unlike anything I’ve ever seen before.  Inside this community, those who engage in the weekly Zoom calls find a whole new level of support and encouragement.

 

We also hosted our first ever live “in person” event in 2023.  It was unreal.  We had discussions, worship, teaching sessions, jam sessions, guitar diagnostics, member spotlights, and we feasted together. 

There were laughs, tears, hugs, and people bonded, because they had Christ and guitar in common.

 

And as the members returned home, I’m confident that they each had more wind in their sails, a greater sense of purpose, and a desire to go deeper with their skills.

 

The African proverb I’ve quoted before to my members, and in Guitar Serious Fun says,

 

“If you want to go fast, go alone.  If you want to go far, go together.”

Lastly, I’ll circle back around to the title of this blog/podcast…

 

8. Have serious fun.

 

The guitar can be challenging, but it can simultaneously be very fulfilling.  A good challenge that we can overcome can really spur us on as we continue forward.

 

I have several friends who hunt.  Given the choice between going out into the woods and pursuing their prey, even in difficult conditions…and having a large, freshly slain animal carcass delivered to their front doorstep, they would pursue the hunt every time.

 

It’s all about the thrill of the hunt. 

 

People in our culture are swayed by an “easy” way to learn.  But this can be short-lived and misleading.

Guitar can be hard to learn.  I don’t mean to make it harder; on the contrary, I want to make it simpler and also more fulfilling.  And in GuitarSuccess4U, I’ve found a way to cut through a lot of the confusion.

 

But as I’ve talked about in these episodes, we do ourselves a disservice if we expect the learning process to only be fun all the time.

 

Because what happens when the fun stops?  Should the learning stop?  I hope not.

 

So, engage in serious fun, and watch what happens when you overcome obstacles that you didn’t even know you could.

 

Then, you’ll find yourself, like in Guitar Serious Fun Episode 3, saying “Yeah Buddy.”

 

You’ve probably noticed in today’s episode that I’ve alluded to no less than five previous episodes of Guitar Serious Fun.  If you’ve already experienced all five of them, awesome.  Maybe spool through them again.  But if you haven’t, your Serious Fun homework is to do so. 

These episodes are served up with a great deal of care, and they’re concise, so you can enjoy them swiftly and gather wisdom and encouragement in an efficient manner.

 

As we close, I encourage you to proactively build some infrastructure around yourself so that when you think of quitting your instrument, you will have much more protection in place.

When others give up, you will press on.  And then…the joy of music and the long game will be yours.

 

Lastly, if you want to know where and how to accelerate your progress in a serious fun way, in a community of like-minded followers of Christ who are also pursuing their dreams on the guitar, I invite you to check out GuitarSuccess4U.com. 

This experience could also act as a catalyst for your guitar and music longevity, if you lean into it.

 

Thanks for experiencing another episode with me today. I’ll see you next time.